Relic_Hammer Read online

  He slammed the door behind him.

  “I hate that man,” I said.

  Coleslaw shrugged. “I think he’s very fond of you.” He took a sip of tea and hid from my glare behind his steaming cup.

  Chapter 15

  I didn’t feel bad about swapping places with someone in New York City.

  After Rebel and I did some clothes shopping in Iceland we stacked a pile of cash on my room’s table. I wrote a note explaining that the hotel was paid for for the week, the cash was theirs and they could go crazy with the condiments and room service. Was I positive that we’d swap with a couple? No, but I was sure Skyler would let me know who our victims were.

  Rebel was decked out in a red dress that matched her red hair and green eyes. She looked amazing but she was as exhausted as I was. We needed rest. We were headed into a dangerous situation with the deck stacked against us for a questionable purpose. Another Tuesday in other words. But there was something sad about the fact that even when we were going to a classy ball thing we wouldn’t have time to relax. I mean I’m no party guy. I’d rather be with my friends, some booze and fast machines, but as we stood there, decked out to the nines, we both knew our lives kind of sucked.

  “You ready?” I asked.

  “Yeah. You?”

  “Vacation,” I said simply.

  “Yeah, after this job. Definitely. Where do you want to go?”

  “Italy.” I knew exactly the villa I’d rent too. And if the owner was occupying it, I’d buy it from her. I loved that place. “You?”

  “Well, I would have said Iceland before this visit. Maybe I’ll go to Spain.”

  “Good choice.”

  We both took a deep breath. My Glocks were tucked away nicely. Rebel clacked her killer fingernails together.

  “Let’s do this,” I said as we stepped through the portal and onto Fifth Avenue.

  Into the rain.

  “Godammit, Kane,” Rebel said as the portal closed behind us.

  “What? I’m not the weatherman!”

  She was already running by the time I finished my sentence. She moved in high heels like they were sneakers. The Metropolitan Museum loomed over us like the head of a stone giant. I’d always loved that building. If there was a zombie apocalypse one day I was determined to lay claim to it as my fortress. Tough to protect but worth it for the Egyptian wing alone.

  I broke through a line of paparazzi gathered by the red carpet. A brunette, with eyes as big as her skirt was small, covered me with an umbrella.

  “My hero,” I said as we walked up the steps.

  “My pleasure,” she said, smiling back.

  “This is your job, isn’t it?” It dawned on me that she was a chaperone for the ball.

  “Make me your date and I’ll quit.”

  “Unfortunately I have a date already,” I said.

  “Oh, you’re a real charmer,” Rebel said from behind me. Her left shoe heel had broken off and she’d fallen in a puddle or seven from the looks of it. She snatched the umbrella out of my new friend’s hands and handed it to me. I held it over Rebel’s grouchy head and looked over my shoulder with my best apologetic grimace.

  “What happened to you? Did you…”

  “Say another word and your pants will be in two pieces,” Rebel growled.

  I had no idea what that meant in the practical sense but concluded that it was best if I didn’t say another word.

  We shuffled into the main hall and enjoyed the snooty stares of every billionaire within fifty feet. One guy snorted as we passed.

  “What, you’ve never seen a wet woman before?” I asked. “Of course you haven’t.”

  His face turned red and Rebel snorted. I winked at his date who smiled back.

  “Assholes,” I muttered. “This is why I don’t hang out with rich people.”

  “You’re a rich person,” Rebel said, sticking her tongue out at a gawking grandma.

  “I’m a poor person with a lot of money.”

  “That makes no sense.”

  “Because you’re not clever like I am.”

  “So your Bugatti and mansion with a pool in every room is your poor side or your rich side?”

  “No, that’s the rich side with a sense of humor.”

  “You should talk to someone about this. It doesn’t sound like you’re handling your wealth well.”

  “I could just give it all to you.”

  “On second thought, you’re handling it very well.”

  I stopped and gestured to the ladies room with an awkward bow.

  “Stop that,” she said curtly.

  I people-watched while I waited. There wasn’t much to look at unless you were into Old Money cliques with one eye peeking over their shoulders as they gossiped. And then there was the new money with one eye on the phone, gossiping with their fingertips.

  Not my scene.

  Which made the woman in the long black dress and the long black hair and the long legs a nice surprise. She was alone, at least at the moment. She stepped down the stairs slowly and studied the room. I didn’t know who or what she was looking for but I could watch her search all night long. Her eyes missed mine a few times.

  And then they landed.

  She was a Vampire.

  The blacks of her eyes locked me down. I couldn’t move. A smile slid out of the dark lipstick.

  I shook some of the water off my head with my hands, splashing a few of my fellow gawkers. A couple of other men and one woman were also hypnotized. That’s when I realized that she didn’t have me under any kind of supernatural spell. She was just really, really hot.

  One guy stepped in front of me to head her off and she went around him, not taking her eyes off of mine.

  Another guy stepped in front of her and she pushed him aside with one graceful wave of the back of her hand. He was lucky he stayed on his feet.

  She stopped in front of me and crossed her long arms.

  She cocked her head a little, waiting for me to say something.

  So I asked what any guy would ask, all things considered.

  “Want to dance?”

  Chapter 16

  “The music hasn’t started,” she said. Her voice was low and had a hint of an accent. German maybe. I needed more words from her. Among other things.

  “Yeah?”

  “I would like a drink, though.” Maybe she wasn’t a vampire. Vampires don’t drink alcohol.

  “Great. I’ll get you one.” Then it was time for a test. Hey, men can do it too. “Can you wait here for my date?”

  “You’re here with someone. A lover?”

  “I’d put her in the ‘fighter’ category, actually.”

  “I mean is she your lover?” French accent. Definitely.

  “No. She’s my fighter.”

  “I see.”

  “I doubt you do.”

  She smiled. It was slight and it faded as fast as it came. But I saw it. “Yes, I can tell you are a man who doesn’t like all of this.” She gestured to the room around her like it was her servant and it was being dismissed. “Is this fighter your bodyguard?”

  “She’d say yes. But she’s more my partner.”

  “Ah, a working man. And what do you do?”

  “This and that. What do you do?”

  “And a man of mystery. You are armed.”

  My hands automatically got ready to pull out the Glocks. It’s just habit. When I draw the low card I get ready for a fight. I clenched my teeth to stop my body’s response. I bit my lip in the process. Hard. Never said I was smooth.

  “Are you okay?” she asked. That small smile found its way back on her face. Who was this woman? “You made a funny face. Like you bit your tongue. Are you bleeding?” She took a step closer. Definitely a vampire.

  “Not enough to drink,” I said, wiping it with a handkerchief.

  I held my ground but I fought two urges -- to step toward her and to step away from her.

  “Ah, good. All of our pretending is floatin
g off on these stale museum winds. Are you a Vampire Hunter? That would be disappointing.”

  “No, you’re safe.”

  “Hm,” she said, simply. Her hips bent right and one of her crossed arms fell to her side. She was studying me. Then she glanced over my shoulder and her guard went back up.

  “Are you going to cheat on me again, Kane?” Rebel asked, putting her hand on my shoulder so that her fingernails were front and center.

  Rebel=Asshole.

  “No. What?” I said, 100% flummoxed. “No, this is… sorry…”

  “I am Tabitha.”

  “You sure as hell are,” Rebel said.

  Neither Tabitha or I knew what that was supposed to mean but I kept things moving as best I could.

  “Tabitha, this is Rebel.”

  Tabitha nodded slightly.

  “I’d shake your hand but I’m not sure I’d survive the experience,” Tabitha said, glancing down at Rebels’ dangerous nails.

  “They’re not made of wood so it would just sting.”

  “So you are partners,” Tabitha said. “You are dangerous. And you both recognize vampires. Yet you’re not Vampire Hunters.”

  “She knows a lot about us, Kane,” Rebel said, smiling. “Would you have anything to do with that?”

  “We were exchanging small talk,” Tabitha said. “Your partner is a fascinating man.”

  “Is he? That’s a word I haven’t heard for him before.”

  Tabitha craned her neck and pretended to see someone she knew. “I hope you’ll excuse me. It was a pleasure to meet you both.”

  Rebel and I watched her walk into the crowd. Then she gently placed a finger on my chin and turned my face so our eyes met.

  “You okay?” she asked.

  “Sure, yeah. Why?”

  “She had you, Kane. She was all over your cerebral cortex.”

  Maybe she was right. But I didn’t feel like I was being manipulated. I just felt like, I don’t know… a teenager?

  “See anyone you recognize?” I asked, changing the subject as thoroughly as I could.

  “Not yet. I see some Vampires but my gut tells me I’m missing a bunch of them.”

  “They’re getting better at blending in.”

  “They’re mingling with their food, so yeah. Much better.”

  It was her turn to change the subject. “You think the twins are okay?”

  “They’re in good hands. Stop worrying about them all the time.”

  “Bullshit, Arkwright. You worry as much as I do.”

  That genuinely put me on my heels. “If by worry, you mean not worry at all then yeah, you’re right.”

  “You care about them.”

  “I didn’t say I don’t care about them. But I’d put them on the same level as…”

  “Your Bugatti. Great for the right occasions but expendable. Yeah, I know.”

  I had no idea how she knew what I was going to say. I guess my face said as much. She smiled. It was a self-satisfied smile. The kind of smile that could send me into a self-defensive tirade. I tried to breathe.

  “Look. I don’t mean to push your buttons here,” she said. “But they need you.”

  “I look out for them.”

  “You do, yeah. But you need them too.”

  “I need them to follow my fucking orders, sure. What? What’s that look supposed to be?”

  “All I’m saying is that they’re a lot like you. So I get that you see yourself in them, too.”

  “If you were any more off base you’d be playing football.”

  She shrugged. I hate it when she shrugs.

  "Holy Mother of Fuckers," Rebel said in that subtle way she has. I tracked her gaze to the other side of the room and saw the source of her surprise, rage, and hormone surge.

  Chapter 17

  For the second time that night, the stairs down to the ballroom hosted Gossip Page eye candy.

  A man this time. Well, a Fox. Fox, the vampire. The vampire who was once Lancelot.

  We hadn't seen him since Tibet where he'd made an impression on Rebel that reminded me of, well, my reaction to Tabitha, actually.

  He'd swept into the deepest caves of Nyingchi mountain with his ghost army of Knights of the Round Table and bought us enough time to pull out our first big victory as a Spirit team.

  Now he was walking down the stairs like he owned the place. And maybe he did. He was full of surprises.

  "I'm not here," Rebel said, ducking behind me.

  "Is this an existential exercise? If you weren't here, would we be able to have this discussion?"

  "Kane!" She whisper-yelled. "Shut up and cover me."

  This was not Rebel behavior. Rebel did not shy away from anything. She didn’t know how to spell the word. Skyler told me she'd always been that way which I believed. It was second nature for her to tackle life head-on.

  But it was too late. Fox had spotted us. He gave his Vampire version of a smile and waved. More friendly than I remembered him being.

  "He's coming this way," I said. "I think he saw you."

  She was bending over behind me, pretending to find a contact lens or something so she couldn't see that he was right in front of me when she said, "Distract him."

  "Distract who?" Fox said, peeking behind me. Rebel shot up straight and fiddled with her hand bag.

  "Oh, there it is," she said as she threw her imaginary thingy into her purse.

  "Well played," I said.

  "Shut up. How are you Fox?"

  "I'm well. I didn't know you'd be here tonight. Business or pleasure?"

  "Pleasure," I said.

  "Business," she said.

  We needed to get our stories straight.

  "What about you?" I asked quickly, trying to save a little face.

  "Skyler sent me," Fox said.

  "Well, that's an unclear answer," Rebel said.

  "He wants me to sniff out the number of Vampires here."

  “So what is it with you and Skyler?” Rebel asked. “You’re always sniffing around for him. Do you have a history?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “A long one.” He left it at that.

  “So can you tell us about it?” she pressed. “Is he an old friend? Enemy? Just an employer?”

  “No,” he said.

  “You two have a thing going?” I asked. Rebel stuck her elbow in my side. Fox ignored me. I rubbed my ribs.

  We studied the room together. Some of the party-goers were clearly Vampires but they don't always show themselves easily. Some of them never lose their complexion, or they wear make-up to fit in.

  "So how many are vampires?" I asked.

  "Half," he said.

  "Half? That's a lot. How can you be sure?"

  "Are you guys actually able to sniff each other out?"

  "We're not dogs, if that's what you mean."

  "Hey, excuse me for trying to learn something new."

  "I can see them clearly. They carry the Auoi with them."

  "O-I? Is that a weapon?"

  "No, it's a demon. A curse. Or a blessing if you enjoy the Vampire life. We can see it on each other. It hangs off of us like a limb."

  "What are they? Why do they follow Vampires?"

  "We all have them. All living things. It's just that Vampires have the Auoi and it's the only one we carry."

  "What do you mean everyone? You're saying we have them on us too?"

  "You're covered in them," he said, a little too matter-of-factly. I got the distinct sense that he enjoyed informing us of this hidden slice of existence.

  "Okay, well, I should get a good sleep tonight," Rebel said.

  "What?” Fox asked, perplexed. “They've always been there. They don't do much most of the time.”

  "Why do they even exist? What's their purpose?"

  "The same as the billions of microbes that cover your body. To find a host and feed on it."

  "You're telling me that there are demons all over us all the time eating the crud off of me?"

  "Eating wh
atever they enjoy. Sin. Guilt. Anxiety."

  "You are so full of shit," Rebel said.

  Fox shrugged.

  "And who is this?" Tabitha said from behind me.

  I made room for her to slip into our triangle, now an awkward box. "This is Fox,” I said. “Fox this is Tabitha."

  "I know of Tabitha,” Fox said. “She is sponsoring this event."

  "You didn't tell me that," I said to her.

  "You didn't ask."

  "Any other secrets you're hiding from me?"

  "You have no idea, Kane."

  The pregnant pause exploded all over us. None of us could think of anything to say. Tabitha enjoyed the moment. Rebel wanted to slash something.

  The band started playing. Saved by ‘Don't Stop Believing.’

  "Dance?" I asked Rebel.

  She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor. Fox and Tabitha faced each other and started talking as if they were old friends. I wondered if they were.

  So many secrets in the world of Vampires. So annoying. And one of the reasons I never, ever want to taste eternal life. It would be like candy going in and Carolina Reaper peppers going down. And there would be no coming out. Ever.

  "So what's the plan?" Rebel asked in that way that meant she had a plan already and wanted to compare it to mine.

  I spoke softly in her ear. She smelled like spring. "I told her we work together. I can spend time with her. You go with Fox and see what you can find out."

  "No,” she whispered back. “You go with him. I go with her."

  "Where's the fun in that?"

  "We're not here for fun. We're here to find out where they’ve taken the hammer, remember?"

  "I don't know. I think we should have some fun while we do it. Could be the end of the world."

  She pushed away from me.

  "You can be a real asshole, sometimes.”

  “I can.”

  "No not a banter, fun asshole. Asshole as in asshole. Smelly and spitting out crap. That kind of asshole."

  She was really upset. She walked off and grabbed Fox by the wrist and pulled him with her. Tabitha raised an eyebrow, took a sip of her drink and eyed me. I stood in the middle of the dance floor alone.

  She tilted her head to the side and walked up the stairs.