Relic_Hammer Read online

  “You promised us!” Rose yelled. She glared at me. She’d been waiting for her first drink since I met her. I found it charming at first but now her obsession with tasting liquor was teetering on the edge of weird. It was dangerous, too. Half-Vampires were a new thing, after all — a breed of human that hadn’t existed until 5 years ago. Rose and Cassidy’s parents had had the whole family injected with vampire blood, a fad among the super wealthy. They’d hoped for immortality, superhuman powers, or both. Unfortunately, their parents bit it within an hour. But the twins added about 200 IQ points to their intelligence and 700 subtracted from their emotional IQ.

  “Let’s think about this for…” Rebel started.

  Skyler swung one drink after another onto the table. The twins snatched them up before I could stop them. They gulped the whiskey down.

  And spit it back up immediately.

  “What the fuck?” Cassidy cried out. “Are you trying to poison us, Skyler?”

  We all laughed, except Coleslaw who was covered in expectorated booze.

  “It’s just whiskey,” Sklyer said.

  “How do you drink that crap?” they said together.

  “It’s for sipping, ya ninnies,” Skyler said with his usual grace.

  The twins looked at each other.

  “Can we try again?” Cassidy asked.

  “Not tonight,” I said. Let’s just let that settle.”

  “This is bullshit,” Rose said, slumping down in the booth to the point where I could barely see her eyes over the table.

  “What’s that?” Cassidy asked me, eying the vodka martini that Skyler had just passed me.

  “Compared to what you just drank? It’s lemonade,” I said. I toasted him, smiled and took a sip. It felt like dragon fire going down and the embrace of a woman in my stomach.

  Mixed just right.

  Mixed with affection.

  I did a double-take at Skyler.

  “What?” the old man said, glaring at me.

  “This is good,” I said.

  “A compliment from this one. Wow,” Skyler said, thumbing me.

  Rebel finished her first sip and smiled.

  “Why, Skyler, I think you mixed this with love.”

  “I’m a vampire. I love pain and agony and stuff like that.”

  “No, she’s right,” I piled on. “You mixed in some affection here. I never thought that would taste good coming from you, but…”

  “All right, lay off the old man,” Skyler grunted. “It’s my vampire power.”

  “What’s that?” Coleslaw asked, looking up from his nap.

  “Vampires can’t really cast spells outside their core abilities,” I explained. “But they can sometimes tap into an aspect of life and enhance it.” I’d learned that from Skyler.

  “So your power is mixing drinks?” Rebel asked. The glint in her eyes meant she was concocting a thousand ways to use this information against him. I was enjoying the moment, too. A lot. Skyler was so uncomfortable he was practically squirming.

  “Intoxication,” he muttered. “Generally speaking.”

  Rebel and I looked at each other and laughed so loud the rest of restaurant stopped to look at us again.

  “Shh,” he hissed at us. “It’s not funny.”

  “You can enhance intoxication?” I asked.

  “Any kind?” Rebel asked.

  “Yes.” I couldn’t guess why he was standing around and taking this teasing. It wasn’t like him at all. The best I could guess was that he felt unsure about the power. Like a newborn testing out his first steps.

  “And you’d like us to give you some guidance,” I said. I knew what his answer would be, but I had to rib him as much as possible. It was sweet revenge for always being on the receiving end of his scorn.

  “I want her guidance,” he said, pointing to Rebel, his star pupil.

  “Fine. I think I can make some time in her schedule,” I added. Rebel winked at me.

  “Okay, okay, I get it, decades of revenge all packed in one moment,” Skyler said, throwing his arms up in the air. “But that’s all for tonight.”

  We were having a great time ribbing the old man, so what better moment for horror to rear its familiar head?

  It started with a loud gasp from Rose. Then a whimper.

  “Rose? Are you okay?” Cassidy yelled. “ROSE!”

  Her pupils shrank to tiny dots. Her skin turned purple.

  She opened her mouth and screamed.

  Chapter 13

  Rebel lifted the table as I lifted Rose out of her seat and lay her on the floor. She tried to get Rose’s attention as I felt for a pulse. It was strong. I looked down her throat but didn’t see anything.

  “Rose! Stay with us here! Rose, honey. Look at me.”

  “What’s wrong with her?” her twin brother cried.

  “She’s choking on something!” Coleslaw said.

  “Can everyone please…” I jabbed my thumb’s knuckles into her sternum again. “…stop YELLING!”

  Again, nothing came up. Her body went limp in my arms.

  “ROSE!” Rebel yelled.

  I did mouth to mouth.

  I pressed on her chest.

  “It might be an allergy to the liquor,” Skyler said.

  “She didn’t swallow any!” Cassidy said.

  “She swallowed enough to know she didn’t…” Rebel stopped.

  I saw why.

  Cassidy was glowing. His skin emanated a green light, as if he were on fire just beneath the skin.

  The other patrons were making a wide circle around us, half rubbernecking for blood and gore, half waiting to see if they could help. That sums up humanity right there.

  “Help her!” Cassidy yelled. “Why are you all looking at…” But then he saw his glowing hands. He screeched like a professional Hollywood Horror Movie Screamer.

  “Skyler? What did you do to those drinks?”

  “Nothing! I mean the same thing I did for yours!”

  “I’m radioactive! Am I radioactive?” Cassidy cried.

  Rose sucked in a huge breath and coughed it out. The color returned to her skin immediately. The only problem was that her eyes were now red. Not bloodshot red. Demonic red with small black dots for pupils.

  “You’re not radioactive! Relax,” Rebel said. “I mean you may be radioactive, but I don’t think you are. Anyone have a geiger counter?”

  At that point everyone in the restaurant scrambled out of the room. I didn’t blame them. That was one freaky scene playing out in Iceland’s finest restaurant.

  “What happened? Why is Cassidy glowing?” Rose asked, barely conscious.

  “Your eyes are red, Rose!” Cassidy yelled.

  “You’re glowing!” Rose said.

  “So it looks like the alcohol had an effect on both of you, okay?” Rebel said in her best soothing voice, which would be anyone else’s calm-the-fuck-down voice.

  “Magic is strong this time of year,” Coleslaw repeated, being not at all helpful.

  “Maybe we’re infected with something from Hel,” I said.

  “Hel?” Skyler said, frowning at us. “You went to Hel?”

  “Yup,” I said.

  “And you thought you’d tell me about this when, exactly?” Skyler barked.

  “Right about now?” I said, looking at Rebel.

  “Yeah, right about now,” Rebel said, nodding.

  “Fuck, you two, when will you get it through your heads that you need to let me know about these things immediately?”

  “We’ve been a little busy tonight, old man,” I said.

  “Viking ghosts, eternal falls, monster cats at the gates of hell.”

  “So you have the hammer?” Skyler asked. He looked human. He looked hungry for the answer.

  “No,” I said.

  “No, meaning what?”

  “No, meaning the opposite of yes,” I said.

  “Okay. Then who has it?”

  “Your people,” Rebel said.

  In the ch
aos of the moment, my vision suddenly went haywire. I couldn’t get a good read on anyone.

  The room was swimming around me.

  Rebel’s sudden move to stop me from falling painted a wave of images in my head that made me sick to my stomach. I had to close my eyes to keep my drinks down.

  “What’s wrong, Kane?” Rebel asked. “What the hell…”

  I felt my body lift off the ground, as if the air around me had decided to become an elevator.

  “Who’s casting that spell?” I yelled down, keeping my eyes closed.

  “I think it’s me!” Rebel yelled back.

  “You think? Why don’t you think about stopping?”

  “I can’t control it. Hold on.”

  “To what?” I yelled floating toward the ceiling.

  “Just give me a second!”

  I opened my eyes and was relieved to find that my vision had returned to normal. Rebel was looking around for a clue, any clue that could tell us what was going on.

  “Why did you close your eyes like that, Kane?”

  “The Lines were too intense. All I could see were all of the possibilities all around me.” The Lines are what I see when we’re in a fight. I can see trajectories, possibilities, opportunities. It’s like the lines that a billiards player can spot on the felt when they prep for a trick shot.

  “Back away from the twins, Rebel,” Skyler said.

  “Yeah, I think you’re right,” she said as she backed up.

  I fell and slammed to the tile floor. Hurt like hell.

  “Thanks, Rebel,” I managed to say through the dancing lights.

  She looked at the twins. “Our powers. They were enhanced.”

  “The twins,” I said.

  “The alcohol must have triggered a change of some kind. Skyler have you ever seen this before?”

  “I’ve seen relics that enhance power, but not people.”

  “Are you calling us relics?” Cassidy said. The glow from under his skin turned slightly yellow as his anger grew.

  “Saying nothing of the sort, boy, settle down.”

  We heard sirens in the near distance. Skyler’s eyes met mine and I knew what had to happen next.

  “Get us out of here,” I said.

  We followed Skyler through the kitchen and out the back.

  Chapter 14

  My hotel room was top-notch. But it was a little stuffy with six of us in it.

  We’d all dropped on the softest surface we could find. It was one of those moments when everyone just needs to shut up and collect their thoughts.

  “How’s my Swap Portal?” Skyler asked. “I miss that power.” He’d given it to me when he was on death’s door in Tibet. It was one of two unique spells known as the Solos. The other spell was the ability to carry a Vault Portal around with you anywhere. Yeah, that was mine too.

  “You’re not getting it back, so just forget it,” I said.

  “I’m undead now. I couldn’t use it if I wanted to.”

  “You could take it from me just so I didn’t have it anymore.”

  “Ah, you do know me well, Kane.”

  I turned to the twins. “Cassidy, please help Rose to her room and stay with her.”

  Their room was right across the hall. I could tell Cassidy didn’t want to be left out of the discussion but he also knew there was no use fighting me on it.

  We sat at a round table. The old polished wood shone in the firelight from the hearth. The walls were lined with old tomes. They were there for show. But I’d cracked them open anyway. Skyler had taught us that we should open decoration books because that’s where wizards enjoyed hiding some of the most powerful spells in the world. Hidden in plain sight, he said. He also advised we read through the motel Bibles every chance we got. He claimed to have found the location of the Holy Grail in a King James edition in Albuquerque’s Holiday Inn.

  “What would Vampires want with Mjölnir?” Coleslaw asked.

  Skyler looked at him like he was an idiot. “What would power hungry creatures who want to rule the world with an iron fist do with a Viking God’s hammer of raw destruction? Hm, couldn’t say.”

  “But they’re already so powerful,” the Traveler said. “Do they need it to take over?”

  Skyler’s face soured. “We have a long way to go before we have the leverage to take out the dominant species on the planet.”

  “Pardon me for asking,” Coleslaw said. “But aren’t you a vampire? Why would you work with us to help humanity?”

  We all looked at him. The question crossed our minds all the time. He hadn’t guided us wrong since becoming a Vampire. We were willing to hold our tongues until he showed signs of betraying us.

  So far, so good.

  “Habit,” he said with a shrug. But it came out more like a question.

  “I’m feeling the love,” I said.

  “Yeah, well done, Skyler,” Rebel said. “Really confident in you now.”

  He winked as if that would make us feel better. It didn’t.

  It wasn’t the right time to get into it. I’d extract a real answer when I was alone with him.

  “Listen, the Vampires want to consolidate power,” Skyler said. “I don’t have any more insight into what the overall plan is or how they want to get there. I think they’re winging it. Trying to find the best way to strike. They had free reign a thousand years ago and they snagged every bit of power, natural and supernatural, before they slept.”

  “So you’re saying they’re overwhelmed by their options?” Rebel asked.

  “That, or they don’t remember everything they buried. You know all this, Rebel.”

  “Yeah, but every time we go on a mission I see things differently.”

  “My little girl is growing up,” Skyler said. He’d said the same thing a million times before. But that time felt forced. There was no emotion in it. It was the first time I felt like maybe we had indeed lost our teacher back in Tibet. Maybe this guy standing here was a shell of the man who had trained us.

  Rebel caught me looking at her. She glanced away. I suspected she felt the same way.

  “How splintered are the Vampires?” Coleslaw asked. “Are there any groups inside the power structure who would work with us?” I wasn’t sure where the Traveler’s newfound energy to help us came from. But I liked his questions so I didn’t interrupt.

  “Besides me and Fox, not that I know of. I have my ears to the ground, though. If we find anyone I will let you know. I promise.”

  “What can the hammer do?” I asked Coleslaw. “Don’t give me the standard crap. I want its secrets.”

  Coleslaw rubbed his face until his sad eyes focused a bit. “Let’s see. The hammer is powerful. Thor last used it, oh, about 1200 years ago. Against the Vampires. On a bad day it could raze a forest. But it can crack mountains in two if it’s brought down with anger or justice.”

  “Mortal justice? God justice?”

  Coleslaw shrugged. “Whichever justice Thor felt hardest at the moment.”

  “So it is magic,” I said.

  “No,” all three said at the same time.

  “A power that’s tied to intent? Big explosions from a hammer? Come on.”

  “It’s God stuff,” Skyler said.

  “Yeah, so I’ve heard. Is there any way we can use magic to disrupt it? Or even track it down?”

  Skyler and Rebel thought about it. They both shook their heads.

  “My guess is that they’d use their anger with the hammer,” Rebel said.

  “Not necessarily,” I said. “They think the planet is theirs. Their sense of justice would probably have us all killed.”

  “How much power are we talking about here?” Rebel asked. “Could it crack a mountian in two?”

  “In the right hands I don’t think it has any limits,” Skyler said. “Which is the good news.”

  “How the hell is that good news, Skyler?” I asked.

  “Because they need to find the right hands. Not just anyone can use the hammer o
f Thor. It has to be someone of honor and worthy of the weapon. According to myth only Thor or his friend Baldr could ever get the thing to do anything more than hit someone on the head.”

  “Honorable? That doesn’t sound like any vampire I know,” I said.

  “Reminds me of Fox,” Rebel said.

  “Everything reminds you of Fox,” I said back.

  “She’s right. And if we already know one vampire who’s a contender then you can be sure they’ll have plenty of Vamps to choose from.”

  “Where does that leave us then?” Coleslaw asked.

  The silence lasted a little too long. I don’t like silence. Silence is stagnation. Silence is doubt.

  “We take a guess,” I said.

  Everyone looked at me with varying degrees of distaste, except Rebel who had her eyes closed as she shook her head.

  “A guess? Really?” Skyler said. “This is why they pay you the big bucks.”

  “An educated guess,” I said with a little more defensiveness in it than I wanted. “And you know I don’t get paid, Skyler.”

  “His folks left him billions,” Skyler fake-whispered to Coleslaw.

  “That’s not true,” I said. But Rebel’s stare shot through me. “One billion. Not billions.”

  “I think it all becomes a blur after like 847 million, wouldn’t you say, Kane?” Skyler prodded.

  “I keep telling him he could give it to charity,” Rebel said.

  Skyler smacked his palms together. Loud as a firecracker. He did that when he had an idea.

  “Charity!”

  “I give plenty to charity,” I said.

  “No, you jackass,” Skyler yelled. “Charity! The gala is at the Metropolitan Museum tonight!”

  “So what?”

  “So it’ll be packed with Vampires.”

  “You mean they’ve worked their way that far up the New York social scene?” I asked.

  “No way would the elites invite them,” Rebel said.

  Skyler threw his arms up. “Invited? They’re sponsoring it!”

  “Is there anything else you want to tell us?” I asked.

  “I’m hungry for bunny blood,” he answered.

  “Get out,” I said back. “Go check on the twins.”

  “Fine, grumpy man. Grab a suit. You grab a dress, Rebel. Get yourselves together and head out.” He checked his watch. An essential part of every Vampire’s wardrobe with sunrise and all that. “The party starts in three hours.”