Relic_Hammer Read online

  I hated the idea of dying in front of Vamps. But I loved the idea of fighting in front of Vamps forced to sit on the grass like college kids waiting for classes to start.

  The crowd looked excited but they watched us enter the grass bowl in silence.

  Váli stood on a single stone in the middle of the arena and spoke.

  “Valhallans. We are witness to the Thunder. We are under the Shield. Today you see a human become a god. So says Odin. So be it.”

  “So says Odin,” the crowd said. It was spoken softly, either in deference or fear, I couldn’t tell.

  “The rules are simple. You may use what you’ve brought.”

  Hand-to-hand combat. Just what I expected.

  “And you may use what we bring.”

  I didn’t like the sounds of that. Unless they brought Glocks. Then I’d be in heaven. Which I guess I kind of was.

  “Start on either side,” Váli ordered us. He lifted his arms to his sides and pointed to opposite spots on the field.

  I turned and walked, looking over my shoulder just in time to catch Hakkar doing the same thing.

  He was pissed.

  Good.

  Well, maybe good.

  I spotted Rebel and Coleslaw near the edge of the arena. They leaned against the low stone wall that surrounded us. Rebel waved. I smiled. Coleslaw looked terrified. The twins were nowhere to be seen. I felt bad about what I’d done. If I died then my last words to them were a lie. When I’d said it, I’d thought it was for their own good. But as I turned to face my opponent I wished I could have the moment back. I’d tell them, “You guys don’t suck nearly as bad as you did when I first met you.”

  That would have made them happy.

  The silence was only broken by the sound of the wind blowing through the grass.

  It was the prettiest death arena I’d ever seen, but it was also creepy.

  “Can we have some music?” I hollered to break the tension. I can’t help myself sometimes. “Maybe “Guerilla Radio”? No? Rage Against the Machine! Viking music!”

  Rebel laughed. That was good enough for me.

  I waited for them to start the fight with a word. Or I waited for him to attack. I was ready but I wasn’t going to rush it.

  “Oh, shit!” Rebel yelled from across the field. “Kane! He’s got one too!”

  What the hell was she yelling about?

  But then I saw it. He’d been meditating while I was fucking around. He’d been getting ready while I was doing stand-up.

  The air in front of him broke in two and a crack, black as night, opened. He reached in and pulled out a sword.

  It was impossible. I was the only one who could do that.

  That’s what I’d always been told.

  By Skyler.

  Fucking Skyler.

  Bonehead had a Vault Portal too.

  Chapter 43

  I needed time.

  It usually took a few seconds to open my Portal when I was relaxed. But with a guy running at me with a sword? That messes up the concentration just a little bit.

  I closed my eyes and relaxed. He was running fast but he was about ten seconds from reaching me. Unless he threw the sword. Then I had five seconds.

  I focused my eyes on the color of my eyelids. The light that broke through was yellow.

  I noticed my breath. I was inhaling. I’d have time to get to the exhale.

  I wanted to open my eyes. I didn’t.

  Yellow.

  Exhale. Until I’m out of breath.

  Faster.

  I opened my eyes. He was about to jump. He was about to bring his blade down on my head. He disappeared from my view behind the yellow light of my Vault Portal. I reached in and pulled out the first thing my fingertips could wrap around.

  A shakujō. A monk’s sounding staff and a weapon in the right hands. I’d secured it in a monastery in Japan. One of my first jobs.

  I saw the Lines. They always kick in when I’m in mortal danger. Time didn’t stop. Not exactly. But time was definitely less of a factor when the Lines appeared. It couldn’t make me panic. I knew for a fact that if there was a way for me to slip out of harm’s way then the Lines would help me. If there was a way for them to help me fight back, well, even better.

  I lifted the stick over my head and the sword came down on it with all of Hakkar’s weight.

  It saved my life but the ancient relic broke in two. It cried out like a wounded animal and I felt it die.

  Hakkar had lost his grip on the hilt of his sword from the sheer power of his blow. That gave me time to roll down the hill and reach into my Portal again.

  Caesar’s scarf.

  “Goddammit!” I yelled.

  Bonehead took two large steps and sliced straight down. A backward roll is the only thing that saved me. But the next blow would hit hard unless I pulled something perfect out of my portable arsenal.

  I yanked out a book.

  “Shit!” I threw it at him. He sliced it in two. I waited for the killing blow but the ground shook. Hakkar was looking past me at something on the other side of the arena.

  I scrambled back up and ran from him. I didn’t care what had distracted him. I needed to get some distance.

  I ran into a line of Vikings. They rode at me on the backs of giant wargs.

  I stopped and ran the other way.

  Hakkar turned and ran too. A spear just missed him, smacking into the grass where he’d stood a split second before.

  We ran parallel to each other, both of us calculating how we could beat each other while running from a flock of spiked, fanged death.

  I reached into my Portal while I ran and felt around for something more effective than a stick, scarf and book.

  I found it. Just what I was looking for.

  Billy the Kid’s Colt Model 1873. It’s not officially a relic. But I bring it around with me to show off at parties. Women love Colts, especially when they used to belong to Billy.

  I had six shots. Standard bullets.

  Hakkar and I turned and started running at the wargs at the same time. We must have come to the same conclusion. Our best chance at survival was to work together-ish.

  I’d save the sixth bullet for my temporary ally but the Vikings could swallow the rest.

  I took out one rider with a shot to the shoulder that knocked him off his warg.

  Bonehead must have pulled a throwing knife from his Portal because another Viking fell from his steed with a dagger’s hilt sticking out of his helmet.

  One of the Vkings barreled down on me with his spear held at his side like a joust. I didn’t have time to get off a shot and it was just blind luck that he missed me. His steed came to a stop, digging its heels into the grass and kicking up chunks of dirt as it turned to face me.

  Which is when the arena rumbled again. The Viking went wide-eyed as if he was as surprised as I was by our new guests.

  Stone giants.

  The giants were like small cousins to the Apu we’d fought (okay, escaped) in Berjadalur. Their faces of rock were human-ish but a seriously butt-ugly version of human.

  And their mouths were huge.

  They opened their mouths and their lower jaws dropped all the way to the floor. The sound that came out was a cross between an exploding car and a 500 foot tall eagle. Yeah, that’s the best I can do.

  The nearest Viking tried to get his steed under control.

  I couldn’t allow that.

  I yanked him off the saddle and took the reins. I thought it would be just like a horse, but it was more like a unicycle. I avoided getting bucked off by wrapping my ankles in the stirrups. I slid off the warg’s back and did a little sideways riding. I reached for the fur of its hind legs and snagged a fistful. The monster roared and snapped at me.

  “Shut up and let me on!” I yelled at it. It actually did slow down which made me wonder if I could give it any other orders.

  Hakkar had the same idea. He was already circling the arena, riding like a pro. The warg was guided
more by the shifts in my legs than the reins. Those were more for me to hang onto for dear life.

  The remaining Vikings were still recovering from the entrance of the stone giants.

  I covered Boneface’s back as he rode toward them.

  And I wondered if we would have been a good team in another life.

  Chapter 44

  One of the giants lifted a dead warg with one hand and cocked his arm to throw it at Hakkar.

  I yelled to get the monster’s attention. It worked. He threw the corpse at me instead. It twirled in the air, head over tail.

  It was going to hit me, unless…

  I aimed for the head and fired. The force of the blow sprayed half the arena in blood, but more importantly it threw off the trajectory of the warg-corpse missile. It landed in front of my warg with a wet thud and then slid toward us. We jumped over it and I watched it stop under the other giant’s feet. The monster tripped and almost fell on me. But it stopped its fall with its hands and I rode underneath him, his dull eyes watching me ride right under his nose while I gave him the finger.

  Bonehead was about to take on two riders at once.

  Show-off.

  I passed by a stranded Viking. He turned in circles, confused by all the activity. I stopped my beast right in front of the warrior. He breathed deep, spit shot from between his teeth. He took a step toward my steed and planted a war cry right in the warg’s face.

  The warg ate him.

  Well, he ate the part of him from the sternum up. The rest of him disappeared into the tall grass.

  I grabbed the Viking’s spear out of the warg’s bloody teeth and rode to Hakkar’s side.

  He glanced over at me and lifted his spear over his head.

  I used mine as a lance.

  The two Vikings rode at us in a perfect line.

  Hakkar chucked his spear and the sharp tip slammed into his target’s shoulder. The Viking reeled off course and clipped his partner’s warg. Before they could stumble, my spear-lance pierced a rider’s neck, shot out the back of his head and pierced the second rider’s neck.

  I heard the crowd for the first time. They gasped. Even the Vampires were getting into the action now.

  “Nice move!” Hakkar yelled over the noise.

  “That was the plan!” I lied. That had not been the plan at all. Not even a little. But Bonehead didn’t need to know that.

  The last two Vikings disengaged from their fight with a giant. They didn’t take kindly to their comrades’ deaths.

  I had enough time to spot Rebel on the sidelines.

  Skyler stood next to her and Coleslaw.

  I knew the old man would wait for his moment to make an appearance.

  I focused back on the fight. The Vikings rode side by side and lifted their shields in front of them so that we couldn’t see them at all. But I suspected that the small crack between the shields was about to spring a surprise or two.

  I couldn’t waste bullets so I scooped up a pair of abandoned spears and threw one to Hakkar just as the first arrow shot out of the crack.

  I dodged it just in time, leaning a little too fast and far. I started to lose my balance on the warg but wrapped the reins around my left hand and pulled myself back up straight.

  The second arrow took out my ride, slamming into the beast’s eye. It shrieked and flipped over backward, taking me with it.

  I got a glimpse of Hakkar as I slid across the field, tangled up in my warg.

  He stood up on his warg’s back.

  Why was he making himself such an easy target?

  The Vikings were about ten yards away from him when they took the bait and released a few arrows all at once. One of them embedded itself in Hakkar’s shoulder with a loud thwack, but the others hit him in the chest and bounced off of his armor.

  They hit him with enough force to knock him off balance.

  But he rocked that tumble better than anyone I’d ever seen.

  His steed didn’t have his guidance but it knew enough to avoid getting run over by the other wargs. It swerved hard right. Hakkar was falling right. But instead of getting trapped under his steed, he slammed his spear into the ground like a pole vault and held on tight.

  The spear bent but it didn’t break as he whipped around it like a flag in a hurricane. He let go, arching over me and landing behind the Viking duo.

  His Portal instantly opened to his right.

  He reached in and pulled out a Beretta M9.

  I’ll never forget the looks on the Vikings’ faces as they realized they were headed to wherever Vikings went after they were killed a second time.

  They tried to turn their beasts but they were out of time.

  Two shots. Two Vikings hit the grass.

  I saw them writhing in pain. He’d spared them for some reason.

  The stone giants had been distracted by the show just like the rest of us. It had all happened in 30 seconds. But no one could complain about the price of admission.

  Now that the show was over, the giants remembered they had to kill us.

  Chapter 45

  I wasn’t at the ideal distance for an effective shot with the Colt. It had kick but if I was going to get under that rock skin I’d have to be closer.

  I ran toward it, which it clearly was not ready for.

  I took a test shot. I had to see how much damage I could do.

  Three bullets left.

  The bullet shattered on its left brow, just above where its eye was hiding in stone. Rock flesh flew everywhere like a shower of pebbles. I couldn’t tell which crack on his brow hid the eyeball but I’d have to find it if I had a chance to hit something softer than granite.

  Hakkar focused on the other giant. And by focused I mean he was climbing him like a mountain. I didn’t know how he’d gotten so close without feeling the brunt of a rock fist.

  His speed, probably. Guy was fast.

  My stone giant roared and ran at me. I had an idea.

  First, I ran away. Like the wind. Well, more like a beheaded chicken.

  I wanted to avoid its heavy knuckles which looked ready to crush flesh and bone. But I also wanted to confuse it. I ran one direction and then the other. At one point I ran in a circle.

  It stood in place, hypnotized by what an idiot I was.

  When I was sure it was good and flummoxed I sprinted as fast as I could to the other side of the arena. It shook its head to clear the stupor, faced me and roared again.

  Its chin touched the ground. Bingo!

  I lifted the Colt and fired.

  Right down its throat.

  I’m not sure what was down that gullet but it wasn’t stone because the impact sent gray jelly everywhere. The giant stumbled back on its heels and made a sick wet gurgle before it fell to its knees. Its flesh started to peel off, one boulder at a time, revealing a fleshy underskin. A bloody muscled thing flopped around on the pile of stone and then draped over its own flesh like snake skin.

  “What the fuck was that?” Rebel yelled.

  I enjoyed the crap out of her grossed-out face.

  She pointed her hand at me as if to say, “You may want to look behind you,” so I did and I didn’t like it at all.

  I was two giant steps away from being a bloody mess on the bottom of the other giant’s foot.

  I rolled out of the way just in time and looked up to see Hakkar empty his Beretta in the giants ear region. It was doing zero good, though. The giant was slapping at him like he was a mosquito.

  Hakkar spotted me, stabilized himself as best he could and pounded his fist several times.

  The hand signal for “Out of action.”

  He needed another weapon.

  Shit.

  He chucked his pistol to the ground and started punching the thing in the back of the neck. His armored hands would take most of the brunt but I bet it didn’t feel great on his knuckles.

  Kind of like pounding a sidewalk curb with MMA gloves.

  “Hey!” I yelled. I’m not sure how he heard
me over the racket those stone joints made when they moved but he did. I chucked the Colt at him and he snatched it like a pro.

  Of course, it was also an excellent throw that a toddler could catch, but whatever.

  I held up two fingers. Two shots.

  The giant passed me. I took the opportunity to calm myself and open the Portal again. This time I pulled out my backup Glocks. Hefty. Loaded.

  I just hoped they were the right kind of ammo. I would have checked but the giant was running at me now.

  Hakkar was hanging from the side of its head, dangling from the top of its deformed ear. He was trying to get Billy the Kid’s Colt stuffed into whatever passed for an ear canal but he kept getting thrown around.

  So I did my stand-up routine again.

  I ran toward the giant, then cut right, then left running behind it. It watched me over its shoulder, swiping at Hakkar.

  I ran in circles.

  He tracked me, turning in circles.

  Getting dizzy.

  The giant stopped in its tracks and started to wobble, off balance.

  Hakkar dropped gently to its shoulder and searched for an opening. He jammed the hand with the Colt into a hole and fired.

  The stone giant didn’t seem phased.

  But then, stiff as a rock board, it fell forward.

  Bonehead leaped off and landed a dozen feet in front of me.

  “Thanks,” he said, tossing my slippery Colt to me.

  The giant shed its skin the same way the other one had.

  Neither of us watched it dissolve. We were focused on the final act.

  We were in my territory now. Ranged combat. I could take him out. He was unarmed. Vulnerable. He didn’t have a chance and I think he knew it because he started to stall. He wanted to find a way to make it a hand-to-hand ordeal as soon as possible.

  “You don’t know what you’ll do with so much power, do you?”

  “I’ll stop your masters.”

  “You don’t know how to use the hammer and the shield.”

  “Luckily, I think these Valhallans will guide me a little. They wouldn’t want me to wander off with the power of Thor.”

  “They’ll use you.”

  “Spoken like someone who knows how to be used.”

  Suddenly, there was a loud screech from the audience. We didn’t take our eyes off each other. No matter what was going on out there I couldn’t let it distract me.